What's the difference between Iraq and Vietnam?

Bush had a plan to get out of Vietnam.

PertoALapallooza 2005 - The Misadventure Begins

"I invited them? I thought you invited them!"



First things first: Here is a reposting of directions to the cabin for this year's festivities.

Address:
The cabin: A Fisherman's Retreat
650 Blackberry Drive
Mineral Bluff, GA 30559
706-374-7740 (There is some confusion on this number. It may not be right, if memory serves.)

For the visually oriented:
Map of Blackberry Drive, Mineral Bluff

Directions
From Loving Road/76, leaving from Pertoalaville:

1. Turn right off of Loving Road onto 76
2. Go to the intersection of 515/60. Turn right (North) onto Hwy 60 (Lakewood Highway).
3. Go 1.8 miles to Railroad Avenue, turn left.
4. Go .3 miles to Mountain River Road, turn right. You will go across a wooden bridge. Stay on the main paved road for about .5 mile to Blackberry Drive, and turn right.
5. Go .6 mile to the dead end. There is a gate. Open the gate and continue to the cabin. There is a Tica Cabin Rental sign at the driveway.

From Atlanta International Airport and Gun Show:

1. Go North on the I-75 N/I-85 N entry ramp out of Atlanta, through Marietta
2. Continue on I-75 N toward Marietta/Chattanooga - go 18 miles
3. Take the I-575 N exit 268 to Canton - go 31 miles

• becomes GA-5 N/GA-515 N - go 15 miles
• becomes Zell Miller Mountain Pky - go 10 miles
• becomes US-76 E - go 16 miles
• Total mileage on this road: ~62 miles
  

1. Turn left on US-60 (Lakewood Highway)
2. Follow directions from #3 above

Tentative schedule, Non-Sequitur South:
Friday, July 1
1:05 - OML arrives at Delta International Air Emporium, takes train to Doraville, is picked up by The EvaDewer or his minions.
?:00 - KOF arrives at same, is picked up directly from airport. KOF is special, hence the moniker.

Saturday, July 2
AEAICP (As Early As Is Conveniently Possible, koALa) - The Nor-X contingency, with Berliner and Chicagoan in tow, will travel up to Pertoalaville, then head to the cabin in the afternoon. If the drill is the same as last year, we'll run over to the rental agency during the day (@3:00) on Saturday the 2nd to pick up the keys, and drive over from there.

Saturday, July 2 - Thursday, July 7
Naked, unbridled revelry

Thursday, July 7
JJG arrives in Hotberg, drives up, getting lost many times on the way. Note to JJG - Get "official" number of telephone at cabin before leaving the home of Dick Butkus, so that you may be safely guided in by one of our trained chimps.


















Note: Not all pictured family members will necessarily be represented; lineup and schedule subject to change based on availability, desire, and the amount of alcohol and/or coffee available. All ticket purchases, airline reservations, and other plans are final, and may not be refunded. Show is rain or shine, and buyer assumes all risk of bodily, emotional, and spiritual damage during water excursions, pyrotechnic activities, and red-meat-laden meals.

Your Friday moment of Zen

Nobody fucks with the Jesus!

Baseball for the Mature Adult

I have confirmed an embarrassing truth about myself: I'm a trashy, trashy girl. JoJo and I just came home from a dugout-clearing baseball-field melee (JoJo says it was a donnybrook), and I led the fans onto the field. In my defense, I only ran out there to save Chris, who, at that moment, was surrounded by opposing-team players. He had just taken the first punch, was jumped by three opposing players, with two more players heading in. Lucky for him and for me, his best friend Matt came cruising into it all, knocking over one of them like Terry Tate in that video that's going around. For a short time there it was JoJo and Matt against six players. Then it was everybody against everybody. I've never seen anything like it, although it was reminiscent of little league. JoJo is okay, but a couple of our players left the field with bloody noses. Well, one of them left with a bloody nose because of an accident earlier in the game, having been hit in the face with a ball off of a bat (I took him to the hospital), but that's another story.

I had no idea how dangerous this sport could be.

Another Cherry Popped

And then there were two.

T3 demolished the Windstar this afternoon when he sideswiped another car while pulling out onto Beaver Ruin Road. He is fine except for some small cuts on his left arm from the airbag deployment. Moby is a junkyard whale now. The other vehicle, a Mercury Mountaineer, suffered a dented and now inoperable passenger's side door.

Agatha and I were still back at the car wash, where we had taken all three cars to clean them up. I was vacuuming my car out when car wash dude came over and asked if the white van was mine, and told me it had been in an accident. I knew immediately what intersection it happened at (it was just a parking lot away from where I was, but not visible to me from there). That was the fastest, but longest, 100 yards I've ever run. I can't tell you how I felt when I saw T3 standing outside the van, apparently uninjured. It's a bit corny to say that I couldn't hope for a better Father's Day present than that, but, all else considered, nothing could compare.

Two cops, a fire engine, and two tow-trucks later (The other driver wasn't carrying his driver's license, so they towed his car, which was drivable, back to his house. I paid the tow truck driver, feeling bad enough that the other guy's week had already been fucked up through no fault of his own.), we (the family) licked our wounds, went home and initiated the insurance dance. I'll follow up on how that goes, because I know you're all *very* interested.

Conversations from my local video rental store

Conversations from my local video rental store.
The clerk, a lovely young local woman, is studying a large book and complaining to another customer: "I haven't had any of this stuff since high school and I'm certainly not going to need any of it in the field I'm going for my master's in."
Customer: "Well, Florida has pretty strict standards."
Clerk: "These eleven letter words and complicated math problems are so ridiculous, I flunked the entrance test once already."
Me: "What are you going for your master's in?"
Clerk: "Secondary education, I'm not dumb, I graduated from Emory University with a 3.5 average. And Emory's a good school."
Me, slightly taken aback: "Well, Honey, if you are going to teach, you never know what you might need to know. I'm sure it will come in handy later."
Clerk: "This complicated math and stuff is ridiculous!"
Me: "Well, good luck next time you take the test."
Clerk: "Oh, I'm not worried. God's going to be with me next time. He'll take care of me and help me through it.?

If we're lucky, this girl will be teaching our children's children someday.

This, That, and the Other

I'll try to get something going here early in the morning your time, if that's what you mean by a book. If not, well, tough poop! Other than that, I can promise not to forget to call this week.

Speaking of what people see or don't see, how does this site look on your respective browsers? The Kontakt link should be in the eye and the other two flanked near the bottom. It'd be great if any of you could report your browser name, and any "irregularites". That is all.

Neil Young Paraphrase I Liked

'A digital musical recording is always the same and always perfect. Analog is not quite perfect and always different. Therefore, when your brain hears digital sound it records it and recognises it immediately next time it hears it, and gets bored sooner. When you brain hears analog, it hears each repetition differently and discovers something new in the sound. Aand your brain finds this more interesting and stimulating. ' I say, that's possibly why some people, one of which I am, believe that analog, including tapes, but especially vinyl, sounds(sounded) warmer, fuller, better.

Still working on the book for daddy??

P never reads the blog itself, only his e-mail, and new titles don't go there, so he will not see the title of this entry, and neither will you unless you look in the right place.

Excrement

What is this apparent obsession? If anybody poops in my bed while I'm at the cabin, I don't know what I'll do.

Golf & Exercise Equipment,"FREE", You Haul

Golf & Exercise Equipment,"FREE", You Haul

1. Treadmill
2. Stepper
3. Tall man's golf clubs
4. Balls, tees, covers, old rags, towels, divot fixers, used score cards.
5. "MUCH, MUCH MORE"!!! Too wonderful to advertise.

ALL THIS plus more household junk will be available, "FREE, YOU HAUL", till 7/11/2005.

Arrangement for storage of no more than a month may be made if necessary.

NO CALLS, NO CREDIT CARDS, NO PERSONAL CHECKS, NO MEDICAID OR OTHER 3RD PARTY
CHECKS

Georgia in July

My flight into Hotlanta is Friday, July 1st, sometime after 7:00 p.m. Central Time, when the plane leaves Chicago. JoJo will arrive the following Thursday, driving to the cabin from Hotlanta. He and I can then drive to Hotlanta on Sunday, early in the morning, to catch our flight back to Chicago. This schedule (or JoJo's attendance) could change if our dog walker has surgery.

We can hardly wait. I hope we can go tubing after JoJo arrives, but understand that scheduling is always up in the air.

So scary about the water-front property. I'm with Gock on the WTF about the sand-stealing.

The EvaDewer's faith is tested

Relative lightweight storm Arlene didn't mean much damage to most people in Florida. Turns out, however, that we (Pinnacle Port) aren't "most people". Because the state not only failed to replenish our beach (we're considered a private beach, so no tax dollars could be used), but in fact took more sand away from us to replenish other beaches, the surf is now crashing against the foundation of our building, removing even more sand as it draws away. There is a video from the local TV station in the link, if you get it today. With any luck, the publicity will get us some help.

Shit. This could get ugly.

Happy Fathers' Day to Pert & Gock & EvaDewer

Happy Fathers' Day to Pert & Gock & EvaDewer
Hope it is wonderful for each of you.

"GOD IS FOR THE USA"

Saw this on a magnetic ribbon covered with stars and stripes on a local car today. This is the best one I've seen yet. My head is bruised from beating it against my car window and I am hoarse from screaming. Aaarghh!!

Pert and koALa, On The Road Again, Naturally

P & K ETD Morganton, 6/06/2005. ETA Jax, Mayo, 6/08/2005. ETA Home Again ???
Purpose: PT for Px, Tx, Rx.
Non jargon version: We are leaving soon today for Mayo in Jacksonville to see a Physical Therapist who will examine P, show him the exercises to do and how to do them, give P a list of what to do at home and a prescription for any appliances recommended for P. We plan to be home by night on the eighth, but may stop somewhere on the way.

Gockalina's Special Day

All eight of us in the Guarnieri household wish the happiest birthday of all to our brother Gyin. Love and All That Comes with It.