Melanie just spent a week with her aunt Marsha, part of which was spent with uncle Jack, as well (some of you can guess where this is going).
Melanie and I just got back from Wolf Park (more on this at another time), and, when we came back in the house, she saw the printed copy of Joe Conason's interview with President Clinton still lying in my printer, with Bill's face on the front page, and said "ew, Bill Clinton."
I didn't think I could have heard correctly, and asked her what she had said. She was reluctant to repeat it, but finally did. She went on about how she didn't like how his wife sat there with a frown, and how he fell asleep and President Reagan's funeral.
I explained to her that he was praying, just as many other people at the funeral were, and she got upset and left the room, as she does many times if she senses I am angry.
For now, I'm just mad as hell. I'm tempted to say "well, to hell with that, she isn't going to be visiting there anymore, if he is going to be filling her head with lies," but I'll reserve on that until I've had time to calm myself.
Back to your regularly scheduled program.
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6 comments:
Update. Still seething.
Tomorrow, Kings Island.
Don't blame you. Still, you know they're out there, and she'll encounter plenty more like them.
Easy to say, but harder to do: Don't get angry, but arm her with the truth. In the short run, she'll emulate the last thing she hears. In the long run, she's yours, and her opinions will have a lot more to do with how you convey yours to her than any uncle.
She'll also say something like that to see what your reaction is. Prepare her for the fact that she's going to hear things like that, not to prepare her for debate, but so that she won't be surprised by it, or swayed by it. Allow that there are good people that feel the way her Uncle Jack does, too. She doesn't have to hate them to disagree with them; that's a tough concept for a kid.
/Just saw F9/11 with Craig. He's on board, and I pity the 16 year old that argues with him.
I'd be furious too. Seething.
But, remember, Papau commented to Bobby, with disdain, that some people believed we descended from apes. You spent 8 years in Catholic schools and got past MAry the virgin etc.
All that Eva says---well, of course I didn't take Craig to see F9/11, and I pity the 16 year old who argues with him about anything. Not to mention the uninformed adults.
I digress, you can't fight those battles with words. She will see how you act and decide your values and opinions are valid and worth emulating, or not. Your influence and control are in how you behave and treat her.
When someone we love is attacked or criticized, and she does love her aumt Marsha and uncle Jack, we defend them. It is one humanity's good traits. I think we may feel attacked ourselves somewhat, because we love them.
Be happy and upbeat and funny with her, those are strengths.
I'm sure she has enough conflict in her head without politics being contested there.
She's 10. It will pass.
Send her to me. You know I won't #$%^&@# teach her such @#$%^! as that.
Make sure you remind her that if anyone could´ve fallen asleep at his own funeral, it would´ve been "the great communicator".
Seriously, it´s clear that the experience accumulated by koALa and Eva has given them the wisdom to hit the nail without too much anger.
I would like to add that it´s even harder for some adults to conceptualize complete disagreement without anger and hatred than it is for most children.
It is important that children spend time with well adjusted, humorous adults who can offer them love, as well as guidance. When they witness anger as a reaction, they´re not only more likely to emulate it, but use this to push buttons as well, as you have already experienced.
I recommend that you calmly, happily, and matter of factly tell her that her aunt and uncle are ill-adjusted and humourless, and can´t really love her because they´re decended from apes.
Oh my goodness! I'm so sorry about that last post: I was on the wrong web site.
And we've got her next week. You won't even recognize her when she gets home. She'll be one confused, ACLU-card carrying, white-hood-wearing, socialism-spouting, race-baiting young lady.
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